I Never Believed This Could Happen to Me

Last spring when I took a sabbatical from work for my “own deep healing,” I found it curious that none of my clients questioned me about it. Actually, it was a huge relief that almost no one mentioned it, because I wasn’t ready to discuss what felt all too raw. But now, I feel the need to share this piece of myself with you – both because I believe in the healing power of truth, and also because I know that it will help other women who find themselves in the same predicament somewhere down the line. The healing journey that I’ve been traveling on since last February, first began when I learned that I had Breast Cancer. I know, I know!!! Take a minute and catch your breath…. Those two words land with such a loud THUD! Definitely shocking, right?!?!

Can you imagine how I felt? I had been on a healing path – emotionally, physically and spiritually, since I was 18 years old. I’d been doing yoga and meditation for 25 years, took dance class on Saturdays, went to the gym weekly. I’d been eating organic food forever, cooking for myself and my family, had a high-quality water filter for years, took specifically prescribed supplements and herbs (based on specialized blood tests), was gluten-free for 15 years, used only natural cleaning products and beauty products. I had a husband that loved and supported me (after years and years of working through my deep-seated issues with men and intimacy), and a fabulous child that I adored and loved mothering. I barely drank alcohol…. Me????? Really?!?! And, I’d devoted my entire life to helping women to heal and grow. Really??????

The day that I found out was February 14th, and as my fate would have it, I was the one who “mistakenly” received my mammogram result before my gynecologist or any other doctor. The study clearly spelled out the diagnosis – I’d been reading mammogram results in my gynecology practice long enough to know exactly what it meant.

There are few words in the English language that evoke such an immediate and visceral FEAR RESPONSE as the word CANCER. Trust me when I say that nothing has brought me to the point of sheer terror more than learning that I had Breast Cancer. It certainly didn’t help that one of my oldest friends was in the throws of Stage 4 Breast Cancer at the time. I knew what this scenario looked like up close, and it set the tone for the diagnosis that I was now dealing with.

What saved me and stabilized me in those first terrifying moments and the days that followed was the inner knowledge that this diagnosis had deep meaning and purpose in that it would ultimately help other women. I knew this so solidly in my heart, because I had spent a lifetime helping other women to grow and to heal. And my gift for being able to do so grew solely out of my own strenuous healing journey, full of physical and emotional health challenges including Bulimia, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – ailments that conventional medicine had no idea how to deal with at the time. Learning how to heal myself every step along the way is what ushered me into the gift of healing – both for myself and then in turn, bringing that gift to the women that crossed my path. I also knew that this very gift was the thing that was going to save my ass now – when I was being called into the biggest healing journey of my life!

After my surgery and learning that the tumor was stage 1, I felt that my healing was as much (if not more) about my spiritual and emotional health, as much as any steps that I could take to ensure my physical well-being. This is the work that I have been involved with in the past year – to learn about what really wakes up the deepest recesses of my soul and teaches it to sing. It has also been a journey of becoming intimately connected with my own intuition and guidance in order to follow the path that will lead me to true health on every level.

And so I want to shout from the rooftops – a huge, heartfelt THANK YOU to all the brave women who have walked this road before me, and gave me the courage and fortitude during the most harrowing hours. And I want to thank YOU, the women of the Natural Healing for Women community who have inspired me deeply in your own healing journeys over the years. I have so much gratitude for the work that I’m engaged in every week, helping women to heal their bodies, and in turn, coming more deeply in touch with who they truly are. I look forward to sharing more and more of what I’ve been discovering with all of you as this journey continues. It is in the sharing of this wisdom and knowledge that I find within myself, that I derive joy and gratitude for the simple gift of being alive, and free to create a life of health and happiness in this blessed moment in time.

In honor of my very first blog post, please share your thoughts, feelings and comments. Feel free to communicate about anything that you’ve heard, or about your own healing journey. PLEASE SHARE BELOW.

And…if you are feeling that you could benefit from viewing your own illness or health ailment from a deeper, more holistic perspective; from the perspective of listening to what this ailment is trying to teach you about yourself and your life, I invite you to reach out for a Natural Health Consultation. In this phone consultation, we will explore your health challenges and strategies for bringing your health back into balance.

To set up a time for this consultation – my gift to you – please contact me at carla@naturalhealingforwomen.com

Remember, the body, in all her wisdom, has a perfect way of announcing her needs, and not letting us wait, even when we’d rather ignore our symptoms indefinitely! Learning to hear what our bodies are trying to teach us through their subtle (and not so subtle!) messages is the path back to our true selves.


Comments

I Never Believed This Could Happen to Me — 18 Comments

  1. I honor you and the depth and power of your healing journey, Carla…
    I am so glad to know that your beautiful embodied self is well and to hear that you are overflowing with your love of life and generous desire to help others on their healing journeys….sent with love and ongoing gratitude for each precious moment, Robin Rose ~*~

    • I was mesmerized and touched by your journey, your feelings are so honest and present, powerful. Your passion to share your gifts, and inspiration really. A blessing to have met you.

  2. Thank you, Carla, for your honesty and clarity in writing as you have. And for modeling, in your writing and practice alike, such admirable balance, courage, wide-openness to truths (including the ones we’re all inclined to resist), humor (an insufficiently acknowledged healing element), and kindness as you proceed on your path.

  3. Dear Carla,
    Thank you for your bold step into being transparent and so real by sharing this significant experience of your life with all of us. You have been on my mind especially since learning of Angelina Jolie’s elective double mastectomy. Like you, Jolie had information that allowed her to make the brave choice that she did to lessen her risk of cancer from 87% to under 5%. In your situation you had the many years of professional expertise and training to know what your options and “chances” were when you received your diagnosis. What your and Jolie’s situations underscore is the empowerment that comes with having information, having the facts, so that as women we can make the hard choices that come when we are diagnosed with illnesses like cancer. Your share is the very gift of information we need as women. And your making yourself available to us so VITAL.
    Thank you be taking this stand for all of us.
    Thank you for spreading the wisdom of your journey.
    Information is POWER!!!!

  4. Dear Carla,
    Your email took my breath away – on so many levels, for so many reasons.
    First, I wanted to run to you and hug you and say “how could I not have known this”!?
    Once I finally exhaled I was able to read your poetic and deeply personal words. Then I read it all again.
    As healers and as women, as one who supports others on their journeys of evolution, it’s easy to feel that we should somehow be immune to such conditions. For you, who lives well, who gives and receives love, who “does everything right” and for the many like you, we learn that there is no such immunity, no sure thing.
    And it makes ya say WHAAAAAT????
    Today, after having read your email, I sat in my doctor’s office for 2 hours with 2 other people in the “I.V. room”. We were all receiving the same medication – not for cancer but for a chronic autoimmune illness. The people in the IV room usually ignore one another but today the 3 of us shared experiences, information and ideas. I spoke about the challenge of being self-employed and finding reliable health insurance. One of the fellows in the room asked me what I do for work. I smiled, I laughed and then said, “I’m a healer! And THIS is very humbling. THIS has taught me, albeit reluctantly, to appreciate medicine and to discover the balance between natural healing, living well and still needing the drugs. Ultimately this is how I am able to help others piece it together for themselves.”
    Such is the irony and the divine mystery that brings us to our knees, and hopefully, to an ever deepening relationship with our true selves.
    Thank you dear Carla, for letting us glimpse your pain and your process and for writing this beautiful piece for us. It is truly a transmission of light.
    I love you and I rejoice that you are alive and well.
    ~ Tina Awad

    • my darling tina, so wonderful to hear from you and receive your beautiful words. truly you were one of the healers that was with me every step of the way in spirit. you were on the list of those that were in my healing circle, but in the rush and chaos of it all, i somehow never got around to contacting you. but i somehow held you close anyway. thank you for your beautiful love and support.

  5. What an amazing, powerful and inspiring story… thank you for sharing such a personal part of your journey… no wonder you are so gifted in the work that you do. Thank you!

  6. Carla,

    So many thoughts right now:
    The bosom: “…. contains our heart, it has also become known as the place where our feelings and intuitions are kept….”

    On the healing journey, I’m learning the loudest, most painful, emotionally terrorizing “Thuds” are the ones that eventually break down walls and open doors to a much more beautiful life.

    Breast Cancer, on valentine’s day, via a report you read yourself. Beautiful, healthy, gifted healer woman…. It’s a book! You have a message -a gift for healing and writing as well- share it!

    Thank you, Thank you, Thank you – for everything before, during and after 2/14/12.

  7. Carla, I am awed that last year while we were fighting PCBs at the school you were actually going through this.
    I am sending you an immediate virtual hug as I picture you ever fighting the good fight on the phone with Landers Brennan’s offices, with this huge thing on your plate too. I am always reminded on the Buddhist dharma, teaching that “I am of a nature to have ill health”. It’s so hard to accept our frailty and vulnerability, even harder than accepting our strength I think, sometimes, but I feel that somehow this must be part of the picture, too, of being well, or just being. Thanks for sharing your journey.

  8. Dear Carla,

    Thank you for sharing your story with us, for your courage, for your inspiration, and for always being such a role model of strength, balance, and well-being, even in a time of crisis for you.

    When I saw you were taking a leave from your practice for your own healing, I did pause and wonder. I didn’t want to pry, which is why I didn’t ask you what was going on. But I guess I thought you were either doing some deep intensive study on a new healing process, or that you needed time off to rebalance. I never suspected cancer.

    As a caretaker for my husband during his illness, I know all too well how all-encompassing cancer can be. I’m so happy and relieved to know that you were able to catch it early and I’m so inspired by the way you found a way to make the journey meaningful and almost positive for you. You are truly amazing Carla.

    I have such gratitude for you – for the health you have given to me, but also for the support you’ve generously given me as I struggle to help my husband during his illness.

    With lots of love,

    Julie

  9. Dear Carla,

    I was also reeling from your message and had to re-read and settle down before being able to reply…
    Several things came to mind:

    1 … you were going through this when you invited us into your home for that powerful class with Michael and Ona last year… Wow, gratitude! I wish I would have given you an even bigger hug, knowing…

    2 … I thought of 2 clients of mine and so many beautiful, powerful women touched by female cancers… I am so glad to hear you are well, even though I know it’s an ongoing journey, and I am deeply grateful for you sharing so candidly!

    3 …that first time I met you at your office, when I thought I had been unsuccesful at eliminating precancerous cells from my body, after a year of ‘deep digging’, you helped me see that I actually was on the right track and introduced me to Flower Essences and their amazing healing powers. I was reminded of those vulnerable, de-stabilizing times and how your voice so helped me find ground…
    And maybe because of this especially I was also shocked this happened to you, because I know your dedication to health and understanding of healing!

    4 … your message also brought up deep fears about being a healer: so many of us go through illness, because it is true that this enables one to better help others…
    Can one be a great healer without experiencing serious illness and deep healing oneself first?

    5 … I am glad to hear your journey is continuing on a level of joy: teaching your soul to sing, I am feeling this message blossoming all around and thank you deeply for your collaborative, community-oriented leadership!

    6 … thank you Jetaun for a beautiful text…
    And yes, the breasts: nurturing, caring, love for our deepest selves…

    Carla hurray!

    Love, light,
    Petra

  10. Dearest Carla,

    I had to read this a few times and find any words that could match the beauty and strength that I found in this post. I determined there are no words except for those that describe the feelings rushing through me when I read this. I was immediately saddened then the sadness lessened. I felt hope, strength and courage – the courage to see all things in the sunlight. It is so easy to see the happenings of our lives as the darkness that falls, leaving us to blindly feel our way around in fearful movements. But you let this experience be sunlight; sunlight that allowed you to feel the warmth and see clearly where you were going. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your story but for every moment of sunlight you have given me in our time we’ve worked together. Love and hugs, Viki

  11. Dear Carla,
    I am so moved by your sharing. A few years ago, you were talking with me about how to support my loved, Amy one who was stage 4 breast cancer and who did not have any interest in holistic healing practices. You supported me to be with her wherever I might find her. For the past several years, I have heard your voice repeatedly, expressing this sentiment to me. Amy past last Thursday evening after 15 years of contending. She had her own way of dealing that was graceful and attentive but rarely outside of conventional medicine. I send my love to you, may you have a powerful endurance to deal with the meaning of ‘cancer’ on our body and mind and spirit. Love, Rachel

  12. Hi Carla,

    My name is Jen. I’m 63. I live in North Queensland, Australia, with my dearest 2nd husband. I have 3 children and 6 grand children.

    13th September 2018 i was woken up at 2am, with a lump under my fingers. The lump was in the top right of my right breast. Definitely woke me with a fright. At first i thought it was a dream. But out wasn’t. It turned out to be a HER2+ ER- PR- aggressive, stage 2 cancer. HER2+, is supposed to be a very aggressive type.
    I had surgery on the 3rd October. The surgeon removed the tumor with safety margins and also removed 2 sentinel lymph nodes. Safety margins are clear and lymph nodes are clear. So technically I’m cancer free but They are worried about any rogue cells floating around my body. I have been refered to a medical oncologists and radiologist.
    I want to treat this naturally. I know there is a journey on so many levels, to clearvwhat actually caused this. Feeling confused as to how to proceed. Only natural or go for Chemo, Hercrptin and radiation, along with all the necessary work on all other aspects of my life.
    Im vegan, eat organic when available. Pretty healthy. Have done rebirthing and lots of process work. Obviously I need to dig down deeper.

    Thank you for this web page. I have only just started to read through. Very grateful to have found this.

    Much love to you

    Jen.

    • Hi Jen,

      Thank you for sharing your story. What I can say is that your body knows how to heal from any illness, including aggressive cancer. It’s so important to get keenly in touch with your intuition about what caused this, and what will bring healing. I believe that healing comes through finding these root causes, and addressing them directly. Also, everyone has their own sense of safety about which remedies will bring healing. That is different for everyone. For myself, the conventional treatments did not make me feel safe at all. They felt highly toxic and damaging, and so I followed my intuition and healed with natural remedies. You can too. But the first step is getting really clear and honest with your self about what will bring healing – physically, emotionally and spiritually.

      If you’d like to speak further, you can take advantage of my complimentary healing session by sending an email to: carla@naturalhealingforwomen.com. I’d be happy to assist you on your journey.

      Warmly, Carla

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