The Weight Fell Off When I Faced My Shame

Dear Beautiful Woman;
I remember it like it was yesterday. The day I decided I was going to break free of the weight loss struggle, once and for all. After consistently losing and gaining weight for the better part of my life, I felt like I was trapped inside of a tiny box, and my spirit was longing for expansion. I still wanted to lose weight of course, but for the first time, I realized that what I cared about MOST was living a life free from the bondage of an addiction/compulsion.

I was reading one of the brilliant books by Geneen Roth, and she shared a process of writing your first memory of overeating or binging or sneaking food or some other addictive behavior around food.

That’s when I remembered my first experience of binging. I was probably 7 or 8 years old, and it was as if some vast, cavernous hole inside of me opened, which I felt compelled to fill with large amounts of food.

It was during a family BBQ in our backyard, and a couple of my friends stopped by on their bikes, coming to deliver a message. They came to tell me that a few blocks away, written in chalk in the street, was a heart with my name inside of it, paired with a boy who I barely knew.

In this moment, the thought of a boyfriend and the entire realm of dating was terrifying to me. When an older relative would playfully ask, “do you have a boyfriend yet?” it would make my heart race with fear. I was aware that it was an innocuous question, and so didn’t know why it made me feel so afraid. I felt weird that I was so afraid of boys and men, not knowing why I felt this way. Other girls didn’t feel this way. My sister didn’t feel this way. And so I felt shame.

As I grew into adolescence, this fear would prove to have premonitory wisdom, as I found myself in one horrible relationship after the next, always drawn to boys that were abusive. But I always did my best to mask this fact, as it filled me with the same sense of shame…feeling that I wasn’t good enough for a loving relationship, always feeling rejected and abandoned, one relationship after the next.

The day that I sat down and wrote about this earliest memory, and the relationships with boys and men that followed, something profound inside of me shifted. The sense of shame that surrounded all of it came to the surface and began to dissipate. It was a moment of acceptance. I could accept that this was my truth and my story, and it was okay. I could love myself and have compassion for myself right there.

I spent the next several weeks shedding grief, for the little girl that had no one to share her fear with, and so held that sense of shame for the better part of her life. At the time, I was  working on the NYC stock exchange, but I would spend my lunch break in a bathroom stall and cry my eyes out.

But then, after those initial weeks of emotional discharge, something magical happened. My relationship to food totally changed. I no longer felt the need to eat until I felt full. I no longer felt a pull to eat whenever the clock told me it was time to eat. Instead, I followed my internal sense of hunger.

What happened next was unexpected. Weight just started melting away. The shape of my body changed. I cut my hair short to celebrate the new me — a woman who was in touch with her inner truth and embodying it. My sense of self was never the same.

Now I want to ask YOU — if you’re someone that struggles with issues of compulsive eating, even if it’s been minimized and masked, hidden or rationalized. Please know that this issue can be fully and completely healed, where you’ll never need to diet or feel guilt and shame around eating again.

I’m offering a handful of Complimentary Consultations, in order to help you find the same inner peace and deep gratification that I found and never looked back from, enjoying food as it was meant to be enjoyed, without the compulsive pull.  And living in a body that I love and feel proud of. In essence, living an integrated life.

If you’d like to have this opportunity for profound change and healing, contact me today, because space is limited. Simply clickHERE to schedule your spot. Also please share with  friends and family that are in need of this same healing.

If you’re not up for speaking on the phone, simply shoot me an email, and let me know your biggest challenges is in this arena. I will write back to each and every email.

With Love and Healing,

Carla


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